It’s the end of July and our farm is full of activity.  The pollinators are busy with the clover, sunflowers, melons and cucumbers.  We’ve been dodging rain and harvesting totes full of zucchini and green beans.  I’d like to celebrate all of that, but I’ve got the anniversary of a serious pesticide drift incident casting a pall over each moment I spend doing the work I think is important and fulfilling.

Pesticide drift or chemical trespass is an abstract threat or a remotely possible inconvenience in the minds of most people. I, on the other hand, have experienced drift on our farm multiple times, and I count none of those experiences as a positive event in my life.  I don’t enjoy reliving these moments and I still get angry, depressed and frustrated every time I think about them. Yet I will continue to work to improve the telling in hopes that it has more impact and motivates people to seek change.

On July 27, 2012, a spray plane applied a mix of three pesticides to a field adjacent to our small-scale, diversified farm. The flyer left the nozzles on as they flew over the western half of our farm, hitting our most productive vegetable field, our high tunnel, a natural pollinator area, our pastured laying hen flock, our turkeys, and me with this mix of chemicals.  

This particular pesticide drift incident was more invasive than the breeze bringing some spray onto our farm from the neighboring field’s edge.  This was a blatant chemical trespass as the plane flew over the western portion of our farm for multiple passes, leaving the spray nozzles on as they did so.  It did not seem to matter to the pilot that there were buildings, animals and humans in the area being sprayed.

None of the pesticides were rated as safe for human or animal exposure on application. I had to seek medical attention for breathing problems that I battled over several weeks and I sunburned easily for a month. These chemicals were not rated for use on crops to be consumed by humans, so we destroyed all of the vegetables in the affected area. We destroyed eggs produced by the hens for the next three months. And, we did everything we could do to mitigate the damage.

What it felt like then

At the time, our farm was in its eighth season providing food for our 110 to 120 member CSA farmshare program.  We also provided vegetables to a preschool and local retirement facilities.  We had responsibilities to provide quality food to these people and now we were fairly certain much of that food would not be safe.

We kept our customers informed via email and through our farm blog. Two days after we were sprayed, I wrote the following:

“Why is this so disturbing to me? Even though there have been stressful events every season we have done this and the work is hard, we have genuinely felt that we were doing something positive, useful and of value. We do this work for good, supportive people. The work is solid, honest work. It is diverse. It runs the gamut from highly skilled to mundane. We can solve puzzles and test hypotheses. I was actually feeling pretty upbeat about the way this season was setting up. I felt like we were making good decisions and that there were some positive results from our efforts.

After one fairly short event on a Friday evening, I want to mow it all down, sell the place and move away.”

For those of you who have poured yourself into something you truly believed in, only to watch it being dismantled in moments, I think you can relate to how we felt. We felt betrayed. We were lost with no real sense of where we needed to go next. We were frightened. We had no answers for most of the pressing questions this chemical trespass left us with. We were devastated.

Tainted produce no one could eat

Later that same year

The two of us did what we could to make the best of things. There were still crops on the eastern half of the farm to maintain and harvest. The animals still required our care. We still had customers who wanted products from the eastern portion of our farm that were safe to eat.  And, we had to do what we had to do to address the fall-out from overspray. Here is what we shared with our customers on September 25 of that year:

“I don’t know anymore if I’m angry, depressed, disappointed or what. Maybe all of the above. But, I do know that something is wrong when so many people I meet have their own stories of encounters with applicators who cannot seem to contain their spraying to the fields they were hired to cover. There is something wrong when farmers can contract with someone else, who then hire another company, to do chemical applications in their fields — and it isn’t done with increased precision, efficiency or care despite the argument that this should place the application into the hands of an ‘expert.’”

At this point, we had more answers — even if we still had plenty of questions. I had recovered from the acute symptoms caused by pesticide exposure. But the emotional wounds were still there and were re-opened every time we went out to harvest the crops that would never be consumed. Both of us could still be brought to the verge of tears (yes, even this crusty, “tough” guy) whenever we had to discuss where things stood.

A year and a half later

I have heard that time brings healing. But, sometimes the healing takes more time than you want. Here is what we shared on January 2014:

“What I don’t forget is how both of us FELT during that time. In fact, I am typing this because I still react strongly whenever I have to spend some time working on the case.  The feelings of anger, frustration, worry, fear, helplessness, confusion and hurt are still there. I don’t necessarily feel these on a daily basis anymore, but they sure do resurface quickly when something calls my attention back to July 27, 2012. But, now, my feelings are dominated by anger, frustration, worry, fear and helplessness because it could happen on our farm again. And, it DOES happen in so many places — over and over and OVER again.”

It would take another year or so before we could reach closure on this case when litigation was completed out of court. For those who are curious about the results, we received payment for the expenses and lost income that came as a direct result of this misapplication.  We did not receive any payment for additional damages, such as my illness after the spray event.  Despite our lawyer’s recommendation, we chose not to take this to the trial date because we no longer felt strong enough to fight for damages beyond these direct losses. We were worn out and had given our best to the process.

It was time to move on.

And now?

Even now, I find this article difficult to write. Both Tammy and I still flinch when we hear an airplane overhead and we become short-tempered as we approach the end of July. You see, we are preparing for ‘spray season’ again.  But regardless of how mentally prepared we are for this time of year, there are few protections for people like us who live in areas with high pesticide use.

Eight years after this spray incident it was discovered that I had kidney cancer and the kidney was removed.  The good news is I am now cancer free.  The bad news is I worry that my continued exposures to pesticides may have caused that cancer and I wonder what’s next.

I am taking the time to share these things with you because I believe it is important to increase your understanding of how chemical trespass impacts the people who work closest to where these pesticides are applied. It is not because I like the attention. It is not because I want sympathy. And, I would rather not approach the end of July with fear and trepidation.  I just want to harvest the peas and cucumbers and eat a pot of steamed, fresh green beans.

I need you to learn how chemical-intensive agriculture has costs that we all, farmers included, must pay.  And I need you to understand enough of what it feels like so you are motivated to join PAN in building a food and farming system that is freed from reliance on pesticides. I want you to see how important this is without going through what we have experienced. 

If you are concerned about pesticide drift in your community or have experienced a drift incident, keeping PAN’s In Case of Drift on hand may a good idea.  This tool kit will walk you through documenting drift, contacting the correct authorities, and guiding you to the medical care you may need. Please do not hesitate to reach out to PAN if you have been a victim of drift—we are happy to talk you through your options.

Still telling the story

More recently, I retold my story for the Iowa Farm Table Podcast, hosted by Beth Hoffman and sponsored by the Iowa Food System Coalition. The podcast included information on the Lawsuit Immunity for Pesticide Company bills in Iowa and other states.

Once again, I was proud to be able to tell the story well. And once again, as has been true every time I tell it, I had a hard time sleeping that night.

It might sound odd, but I hope you will feel a bit uncomfortable and even upset by what you hear. Yet I encourage you to listen. Often the best learning and better changes come from discomfort. May that be so in this case.

Thank you for taking the time to consider my words and hear my story.  Together we can make a difference and we’ll know we made a real difference when our food and farming system is characterized by respect, sustainability, diversity, and justice.